Into The Light On A Cold Fall Day
Into The Light
Jorma Kaukonen
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Over the years I have periodically found myself constrained to ask myself questions relating to my source and my destination… I guess we all do from time to time. When I was a kid in the first half of the last century I just wanted to be old enough to leave home and be on my own. I can’t blame my Mom and Dad for this, they were beset by their own demons and that’s just the way it was. As for me, I just wanted that dream of a walk in the sun as, well if not as an adult, at least as some sort of autonomous creature.
I don’t think I gave much thought to the responsibilities that go with such freedom… that would come much, much later. In any case, I bounced around emotionally from pillar to post until one day the guitar entered my life. What was that really all about? I mean I had studied music and a number of instruments from an early age, but the guitar and its attendant music opened a very real door into the world for me. Now it is impossible to separate the guitar as a prime mover from the music of the time, much of which was not guitar music. Think of the Sam Cooke song written by Sam as well as Lou Adler and Herb Alpert.
Don’t know much about history
Don’t know much biology
Don’t know much about a science book
Don’t know much about the french I took
But I do know that I love you
And I know that if you love me too
What a wonderful world this would be
Don’t know much about geography
Don’t know much trigonometry
Don’t know much about algebra
Don’t know what a slide rule is for
But I do know that one and one is two
And if this one could be with you
What a wonderful world this would be
Now I don’t claim to be an “A” student
But I’m trying to be
So maybe by being an “A” student baby
I can win your love for me
Don’t know much about history
Don’t know much biology
Don’t know much about a science book
Don’t know much about the french I took
But I do know that I love you
And I know that if you love me too
What a wonderful world this would be
La ta ta ta ta ta ta
(History)
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
(Biology)
La ta ta ta ta ta ta
(Science book)
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
(French I took)
But I do know that I love you
And I know that if you love me too
What a wonderful world this would be
I mean think about it, for this was deep poetry for an adolescent boy. I still can’t listen to that song today without being transported to another time when I, wrapped in the body of youth thought that the riddle of life might just be that simple.
Well, needless to say, that’s not exactly how it played out but I was certainly hardwired to see the world accompanied by a sound track. Of course, time moved on and something else happened along the way. I started out learning some stuff on the guitar… bluegrass like Jimmy Brown The Newsboy, murder ballads like Down In The Willow Garden, Banks Of The Ohio, bluesy offerings like Worried Man Blues… I still remember my Father getting on my case about some of my favorite material. ‘Worried man! What do you know about worries? Shackles on your feet… what do you know about shackles?’ Well, of course I wanted to say, ‘Dad, I’m a teenager in the 50’s, I know lots about shackles and worry,’ but due to some divine intercession this was one of those rare moments in my life when I chose to hold my tongue. Anyway, playing songs for myself was grand… the natural room echo in my parents tile bathroom couldn’t be beat, but this wasn’t good enough. I remember my best friend, Bill Haile (may he rest in peace) euchred me into going on a Presbyterian Retreat. I had just gotten my driver’s license, I was the proud owner of a 1950 Studebaker Starlite Coupe as well as a Gibson J-45 guitar there would be girls there and I knew a couple of songs.
Ah, that innocent passion of youth… indeed. So, on Saturday night they had a ‘talent’ show and of course I signed up… my first public performance. I played Worried Man Blues… it was a smash hit. The applause got me right where I lived. They wanted another song. I followed it up with Champion Jack Dupree’s Dirty Woman Blues. They were not quite so excited about this choice of material and out came the hook. I didn’t even get to finish the song but that was OK. I got that taste of applause and I have to tell you I liked it.
Time marched on as it is wont to do and I continued to pursue a musical path… it was no longer my choice, it was something I had to do. I remember going to see such memorable artists as Pete Seeger as well as Sonny Terry and Brownie McGhee at Constitution Hall (maybe it was Lisner Auditorium, I don’t remember) and I would be sitting there in the dark waiting for the concert to begin. A hush would fall over the audience, the curtain would go up and the musicians would walk into the light and start to play. That moment of walking into the light… coming from darkness into crystal clarity was a grand epiphany. I knew then that I needed that moment to be a part of my life.
As the years began to unravel, I played open mikes from Gerde’s Folk City in New York in 1960 to the Offstage in San Jose, California a couple of years later. One moment you’re in some murky tuning room, and then you take the stage. The room might still be murky in reality but to be there with instrument in hand with a microphone in front of you are part of a celestial ascension.
A couple of years ago I was on a CAMI tour with Ruthie Foster and Robben Ford and we all sort of rotated off and on the stage as the production demanded and I remember sitting in the darkness in the wings with my guitar in hand waiting for my moment to walk into the light. Last year with David Bromberg as we would take turns on the stage I remember the same feeling… waiting to walk into the light and present myself to the audience. What a strange anomaly that all is having little or nothing to do with the world we all inhabit most of the time. Taking a kid to school, or their show or a trip to the doctor certainly does not offer a trip into the light to the taker.
Well, life has a way of balancing things… a way of introducing one to humility like it or not. I am no different in that respect… that is for sure! That said, in my creative life which also overlaps into my working life, I get to walk with angels and every now and then I get to fly. How great is that? I don’t know what the point of all these observations are. At this point in my life I would wish for a little more time to watch my children grow and a few more trips into the light before that final light calls my name. I will answer that call too, as we all must… and the meantime I will try to keep smiling and stay out of the shadows.
