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Things That Might Have Been

February 19th, 2017 Jorma Leave a comment Go to comments

In 2001 a dear friend of mine and her then seven year old daughter were walking to school. They chanced to look up at Dad’s office there in the Twin Towers in time to see the first plane strike. In that microsecond Dad… and so many others were gone. They did not put a photo up down by the church… they did not have to. They knew where he was.

In the years that followed, the little girl grew to be a woman, but in that nanosecond back in 2001 the world changed for her in a profound way. The earth we inhabit would never be her home. Something broke, that would never be the same again. A week or so ago she chose to leave this life. It seemed it was a long time coming.

I have traveled quite a way in life and the times were not always good… yet I always felt there were better times on down the road. I believed my work on earth was not yet done. There is sadness in my heart to know that she did not live long enough to experience the ebb and flow of life. Perhaps for her it was always ebb. It is not for me to know this.

There is a profound sorrow in my heart to know that my young friend could never find peace on this side of the pale. Perhaps this is the way she needed to fly.

There are some broken things that can never be fixed.

‘Healing is the return of the memory of holiness…’

Deepak Chopra

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  1. Richard aka Broken hearted
    February 19th, 2017 at 17:12 | #1

    If I did the math right she was 23. How ironic. My son died of an overdose 3 years ago and was 23. Jorma you then sent me an email of condolence which was greatly appreciated. I have had the same dark thoughts too but luckily I have a daughter and grandson and now 2 weeks ago now a granddaughter too which gives me and my wife so much to live for so that is not going to happen..Thanks for listening.

  2. Dan
    February 19th, 2017 at 20:22 | #2

    Very sad story. My heart goes out to that family.
    And also to Richard and your family.

  3. Brian Doyle
    February 19th, 2017 at 20:43 | #3

    My aunt’s cousin called in sick that day and every single one of her colleagues perished.

    There are some fixes that can never be broken…

  4. Rick dickerson
    February 19th, 2017 at 21:22 | #4

    Wow my son died in southern Ohio in 2009 he was 22. Drug overdose. I am in recovery from addiction. There was so much time that I felt guilty to be alive at 53 while he was gone at 22. I like Jorma thought he didn’t get to experience life’s way of taking us down only to show us how great life could be later. I have come to terms with it. I tell my story to as many people that need help and are willing to listen. Every time I get the opportunity to tell my story I reserve some time to make sure to tell his. I take that time to use his life to hopefully turn another’s life toward a positive direction. I give his life as much value as I possably can. Thanks Jorma for your story of your friend and I hope people always take what’s seems like a really bad deal and try to turn it into something positive. See you at a show at FPR

  5. Howard Wade
    February 20th, 2017 at 02:01 | #5

    “There’s a crack in everything
    That’s how the light gets in”
    Leonard Cohen

  6. Ham n Eggs
    February 20th, 2017 at 09:48 | #6

    My prayers and thoughts to you, your friends and their families.
    9/11 made some us sick in so many ways.
    One of my friends was up doing some carpentry when the first plane hit, his partner was tossed through a window and he to the floor. I don’t think he ever got over it and took his life several years later. He led his work crew down the stairs and after 15-20 fights noticed one guy was still carrying a four foot level, just in shock.”What you got that for? Put it down lets go” They went another few floors and someone was having trouble breathing and couldn’t go further on the stairs. The worker and my friend used the level to help carry her out. Rest in Peace.
    Peace
    Love All Ways

  7. rich l
    February 20th, 2017 at 09:55 | #7

    There are songs, and then there are songs that resonate in our souls forever, only to poke their heads up like a crocus in the snow in spring…

    “To be born again

    In another world
    In another time
    in another place

    So far away” – Van Morrison

    Praying for your friend – some burdens are just too heavy to bear. Life is hard, but “deep in my heart, I do believe, that I’ll be all right…someday.

  8. eaglesteve
    February 20th, 2017 at 10:58 | #8

    My condolences to you and yours.

  9. Steven Levenson
    February 20th, 2017 at 11:06 | #9

    Too many of us have suffered, and continue to suffer the effects of a suicide by a loved one. There are ways too help. Project Semicolon is one. Give support to organizations like the DBSA. Join the “I’m Here” campaignl (a safety pin with green beads is a signal that you will help someone in crisis). Look for a local Mental Health First Aid class. And, if you think someone is thinking about suicide, ASK THEM! You’re not putting ideas in their head. Stay with them until you can get help.

  10. carey georgas
    February 20th, 2017 at 12:40 | #10

    While it might sound good to say that there is no hurt that can’t be healed, I don’t feel qualified to say it in this case because I’ve never had to endure a hurt that deep, from either the child’s perspective, that of the young adult or of the parent. When the pain is unimaginable, all we on the outside can do is offer unconditional love and condolence. Peace.

  11. Brian Doyle
    February 20th, 2017 at 16:52 | #11

    There are sunsets you’ll miss that aren’t worth missing…
    Lips you won’t kiss that are worth kissing…
    On life’s spinning wheel you can’t always assume…
    Behind the door you didn’t open lay unending gloom…

  12. mikie
    February 21st, 2017 at 08:50 | #12

    I lost my dad to a self inflicted gunshot abt 20 years ago. I often think of what he’s missed, number one being able to hold his great grandchildren. Despite the pain his loss caused, my oldest son has made two valiant attempts due to his mental illness and drug abuse.
    I keep thinking, “It’s not YOUR life to take; it belongs to all who love you.” m

  13. Paul
    February 21st, 2017 at 12:54 | #13

    I am so very sorry Jorma. What a tragic loss. Please accept my heartfelt sympathies.
    Sometimes the pain of living is too much to bear. Depression when not treated can be as life threatening as a cancer or diabetes.

    My condolences also for Larry Corryell. I have been a longtime fan and was sorry to miss him when he was at Fur Peace. RIP Larry and Godspeed.

  14. Richard
    February 21st, 2017 at 19:33 | #14

    Rick dickerson :Wow my son died in southern Ohio in 2009 he was 22. Drug overdose. I am in recovery from addiction. There was so much time that I felt guilty to be alive at 53 while he was gone at 22. I like Jorma thought he didn’t get to experience life’s way of taking us down only to show us how great life could be later. I have come to terms with it. I tell my story to as many people that need help and are willing to listen. Every time I get the opportunity to tell my story I reserve some time to make sure to tell his. I take that time to use his life to hopefully turn another’s life toward a positive direction. I give his life as much value as I possably can. Thanks Jorma for your story of your friend and I hope people always take what’s seems like a really bad deal and try to turn it into something positive. See you at a show at FPR

    Rick don’t ever feel guilty..It is not your fault..If you are ever at a New York Hot Tuna show maybe we can share a could cry..Thanks all for you sympathies..