Family hands… Virginia, Vanessa and Ginger

Photo by Vanessa Kaukonen

Virginia Cole

July 16, 1929- June 29, 2022 3:15 AM

Sometimes it is so hard to touch the things that matter. Sometimes it is hard to see the things that matter. Sometimes it is difficult to know the things that matter… and sometimes for a moment you see things so clearly that you are almost swamped in a sensory overload.

I have known Vanessa’s mom Virginia a couple of weeks less than Vanessa. She been a part of my life in one way or another for a long time. She joined us here in Ohio almost a decade and a half ago after her second husband passed. She was Virginia to me and Grammy to the kids. Five or six years ago it became apparent that she was beginning to have cognitive issues and the doctors told us that Alzheimer’s was no longer waiting in the wings, it was beginning to move to center stage. Words cannot adequately express the sorrow one feels watching the essence of one you love recede at an alarming rate leaving only a shell. In Ginny’s case, the who she was drifted away leaving only the what and that too became more ephemeral with each passing day.

Because of Covid restrictions and such I never got a chance to visit her but we did write a letter or two. At 3:20 this morning Vanessa got the call that she had just passed and in that moment her pain was over.

If there is a better place… Virginia is there now.

May your memory be a blessing!


  1. Comment made on July 3, 2022 by Jim Tulgan

    My sincere condolences! And please pass along to Vanessa my condolences and that my thoughts are with you all.
    Jim Tulgan

  2. Comment made on July 2, 2022 by mikie

    May your faith bring you comfort in these times. God bless, m

  3. Comment made on July 1, 2022 by Bill from Wisconsin

    Sincere condolences. We’re thinking of you and the family.

  4. Comment made on July 1, 2022 by Ham Neggs

    May you have loving memories and good grief. Peace✌🏻️❤️Love All Ways🔥🚲🌹🙏🏻🖖🏼

  5. Comment made on June 30, 2022 by Brian Doyle

    A White Rabbit passes in to the night like a soft tide…

  6. Comment made on June 30, 2022 by eaglesteve

    My sincere condolences to your family.

  7. Comment made on June 30, 2022 by Paul K

    So sorry for her loss. May her memory be a blessing for you all. I went through it with my Dad and it was a comfort to know that his suffering had ended when he passed. God bless Ginny.

  8. Comment made on June 30, 2022 by David Goldstein

    Sorry for your loss. May her memory be a blessing.

  9. Comment made on June 30, 2022 by Dale Radeleff

    So sorry for your loss, you guys are all in our thoughts and prayers.

  10. Comment made on June 30, 2022 by Bob S

    I’m so sorry for you loss. These moments put the nonsensical things in life into perspective – if only fleeting. Please pass our heart felt condolences along to Vanessa and the “kids”.

  11. Comment made on June 30, 2022 by Richard K

    I know the feeling to well. My Mother in Law just passed too. She was 95 and also had the disease. No Mother in Law jokes about her. I loved her very much and I know she loved me. She was such a strong talented woman and when all that was gone was so sad. The great lady she once was had been gone for about 5 years.She was a dress maker and I a carpenter and she would say, what you make in wood I make in cloth. We had a mutual respect for each others skills. May they Rest In Peace.

  12. Comment made on June 29, 2022 by Rob

    I’m so sorry to learn of this loss and the pain that preceded it. My heart goes out to Vanessa, you, and all friends and family touched by Virginia.

  13. Comment made on June 29, 2022 by Brad

    Just Holy Love to you all.
    My heart breaks, my tears fall, with you.

  14. Comment made on June 29, 2022 by Joey Hudoklin

    My sincere condolences to family, friends, Vanessa and you Jorma. Losing ones mother is devastating.
    May she rest in peace♡

  15. Comment made on June 29, 2022 by carey georgas

    May the peace that surpasses understanding comfort you all. Having not had to deal with that malady amongst my loved ones, I don’t know how to offer any other words of consolation because I can’t imagine the dichotomy of emotions it brings. Peace.

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